Killing some Kobolds

I am trying to get into my home town. this is complicated by the fact that the surrounding area and the town itself is flooded. I do the only thing I can, and sneak in through the sewers, which are still completely dry, and just like the sewers in Dungeons and Dragons Online(complete with quests.) Unfortunately the sewer is full of kobolds, fortunately I am now Artemis Entreri. I kill my way through the kobolds, but I come across a sealed door. I open the door and inside is this giant floating flaming head. I try to kill it but can't do anything to it. I apparently multiclassed into cleric, because I cast some buff spells on myself. I still can't harm the monster and run. I make it to the city, kobolds nipping at my heels. I run out of hit-points as I climb out of the sewer, but I luckily have the Die Hard feat, and am still able to run. I make it to the beach (created by flooding) and find a cleric there willing to resurrect me when I died.

Wizards and Wacking Sticks

I dreamt I was playing Neverwinter nights. I was playing a wizard. the game however was completely different. one thing you could do was 'mutate' something. it was very random, and you could end up doing things like growing a bathtub out of a horse (which I did.) then you could ride up the mountainside in style.

I went about the gameworld recruiting other players for my quest, because you see NWN was now a MMO, a very lively one. I found my brothers char and tried to convince him to go up the mountain. He wanted me to cast a spell to remove some mutation, I said I thought I could counterspell it, but then he got distracted by some world event. I then left on my own and came upon a large battle. I joined in and got some phat lewt (including a greatclub) and then I woke up.

Atomics and Extraterestrials

I'm standing out in a field near my house. I see con trails, lots of them, splitting off from each other. I'm sure they're nukes, and they sure act like them. they start dropping and I think "what can I do?" and I realize that I can do nothing. so I raise my hands into the air, and I watch and wait for inevitable destruction. but it never comes, they just fall to earth. I stand there a little while.

We're in a car, my brother is driving, fast and poorly. I tell him to slow down, and he almost swerves off a cliff, so I tell him again. "SLOW DOWN!" and then he drives onto a tree branch lying in the road. I say that I'll drive, and he gets all angry at me. so i back the car off the branch and drive down the road. I'm in a store and perusing the many items. mostly old stuff. lots of sega genisis games. and I think I see something in the sky. I go out on the deck by this store / house and look up. I catch a glimpse of something out of the corner of my eye, and then nothing. I go back in and I use the toilet. I come back out and I'm talking with my dad and some of the people who live in the store/house. suddenly I see something in the sky. its big and mechanical. I rush under the skylights to get a better look. Its some sort of hovercraft/spacecraft. It dives down low and then shoots off into the sky. the kid who showed me where the bathroom was, was outside and overheard a message from them. I don't remember what it was. but I think it was to the effect that we were almost completely below their notice. A minor interest on a longer trip.

Then I woke up.

Sneaky Shenanigans

In a trailer house, possibly aunt/uncles house. I'm messing with some computer/television.

In a car (driving?) with parents and possibly brother, zooming down the road way to fast. I'm told we're going to have a jump contest, I'm like "what?" Then zoom! into the sky, we fly through the air about a half mile or more. I set it down lightly and as smoothly as a baby's butt. Right behind a mall. I go in the back for no reason at all while my parents go through the front. eventually some rich guy has some work on his car done. for some reason I knock out the guy who was working on his car with a tire iron, pretend to be him, and work on the car in his place. As soon as I can, I duck into the machine shop. I just saw some cop looking for me. I go around to in-front of the mall. There is a giant television out front. Some van with tinted windows drives up, but then its not a van, it's my brothers car and He's here to pick me up. I hop in and we drive away swiftly into the night.

The next morning Wolverine changes back from a Pomeranian and pulls off the multicolored fake nails for doggies.

and then I woke up

Me and Captain Janeway

Me and Captain Janeway are ready to beam back up to the ship. So we hop in our Pick-up and drive off through the fields. we eventually arrive at a hotel except I'm now a typical American soldier, and she's a highschool teacher. Now I'm one of the students on a field trip. I go into the bathroom but there's high school students in there. they won't leave so I slap one but she just laughs. they won't leave so I just take a piss and try to ignore them. I'm in the same hotel room as my parents but the TV won't turn off, apparently the hotel removed that function for some unknown reason. I also can't turn down the volume. I flip through all the channels which are cutesy stupid hotel stuff, such as a dog show. Then someone points out that I could just pull the cord, which I do. Now I get an envelope from my parents (who aren't here anymore?) and it has money in it. Good I think, Now I can head down to the walmart and buy some mid-evil weaponry to deal with those highschool students.


Then I wake up.

The Old Man and The Samurai

It's been a long day, and I've worked hard. I'm on my way home, in my dads pickup, which he is driving. we stop at a store (probably Walmart) to get some pop, however, I can't find the pop. when I finally find it, its all those off-brands that you don't really want. When I've finally gotten the pop and checked out its taken way longer than it should have (like Walmart) and I see my aunt, uncle and cousins near the checkout. I talk to them and they end up promising to come over. I am displeased by this for some reason.

An old man lives in his dirty old house, sits, and watches the television. He promises his teenage granddaughter that if the family cleans his immensely filthy house, He'll get up out of his chair, and start living again. Her and her family work for days. The granddaughter is the driving force behind the cleaning, organizing and working the hardest. Eventually they finish cleaning the house, and the old man seeing this, goes back to watches his soaps. After everyone has left in disappointment except the girl, the old mans soap finishes and he gets up and starts reading a book that lists all the art in history. It opens to chainmail which is apparently art, and it tells of how it was invented by the Japanese.


Now I'm a young samurai warrior, sleeping soundly on a bed of rocks. suddenly I am accosted in my sleep by a (now that I'm awake and can judge objectively, not very) Beautiful woman. He then beats her for daring to impugn his honor, and the japan-cops take her away.

Then I wake up.

To Do Great Battle

I'm up on a tower that is near the preschool I went to (there is, of course, no such tower by my preschool.) I'm reading magazines and I am performing some sort of experiment that involves tying bags of bread with writing on them to cords and throwing them over the edge, then pulling them up one at a time. The bread is suppohsed to represent children, and tat the last one would stay hanging and die. At the time I had a flashback within the pdream to when this hapened to me during preschool, and how lucky I was not to be the one left over the edge. Someone shouts up at me. I throw the bread down for ducks, trying to make the chunks land in a stream and failing. I then climb down.

Now I'm at the house I grew up at, but I'm naked and running around in the mud. My father comes out of the house and says I should stop because I wasn't even invited.

Suddenly I wake up, but I never washed my feet off from the night before, so my feet are covered with mud. My dad comes in and asks If I want to watch a movie. I say yes and that I can't believe I acted like that the night before.

Now I'm back by the tower, standing a ways away from it. It's in a large grassy field (nowhere near the preschool.) I wander the field for many days fighting monsters with a sword, and protecting small villages.

Then I woke up. For real this time.